I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
Randomize
