idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Randomize
