Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
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