They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
