I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
