ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Randomize