I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Randomize
