just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
Randomize
