Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
Randomize
