physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
