i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
Randomize
