He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
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