and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
