I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
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