Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
Randomize
