I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
