I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
Randomize
