he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
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