i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
