I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
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