Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
Randomize
