just tell him i said nine months
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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