i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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