Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
Duck Duck Cougar?
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Randomize
