And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
Randomize
