I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
