My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
