Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
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