I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
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