Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Randomize