I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize