dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
