tell your sister to shave her snatch
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
Did you pee in the oven last night??
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
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