Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
