I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
