theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
