And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
Life is so much better after having sex.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
