She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
