i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
