Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
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