part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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