four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
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