i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize