That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
