I'm lost and stupid without you.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
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