it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
Randomize
