using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
