The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
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