Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
