1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
I'm sorry my penis didn't work
when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
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