At least make sure they are 18
Why
So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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