GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize