covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Randomize
