the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
Randomize
