i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
