You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
Is that strawberry winking at me??
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
Randomize
