Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
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