if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Randomize
