I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
Randomize
