Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
Randomize
