hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
I think I just sharted jello shots
Randomize
