things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
