I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize
